Queer Poco el Mono Ara National Football Team
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| Nickname | The Whites |
| Manager |  Joseph Hamburgstein
|
| Captain | 
|
| Most caps | Tomasz Poborsky
|
| Top scorer | Ishmael Van Dyke
|
| KPB rank | 39th |
| Highest KPB ranking | 39th |
| First international Queer Poco el Mono Ara 1–4 Dancougar (Friendly) | |
| First competitive international Queer Poco el Mono Ara 1–4 Qazox (OXEN Cup XI) | |
| Largest competitive win Queer Poco el Mono Ara 7-1 Teletropis ( World Cup 49 Qualifiers) | |
| Worst defeat Queer Poco el Mono Ara 0-7 Jeruselem (World Cup 50 Qualifying) | |
| World Cup | |
| Appearances | 1 |
The Queer Poco el Mono Ara football team represents the nation of the same name in international football (soccer) competitions. The national team has taken part or continues to participate in, The World Cup,Cup of Harmony, regional Copa Rushmori, OXEN Cup, Phoenix Cup and Baptism of Fire. The national team is controlled by the QPeMAFA, the organisers and govenors of football in Queer Poco el Mono Ara.
Queer Poco el Mono Ara also have an under 21's team, who have participated in Di Bradini Cup 10, reaching the final against Candelaria and Marquez and suffering a 1 - 0 defeat.
Contents |
[edit] History
[edit] Origins
In the early 20th Century, as football established itself as the top sport in the World for both numbers of participants and spectators and with the Pocoan league steadily increasing in stature the tiny Pocoan F.A created a national team to compete with those of their British counterparts - England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales who were competing in the British Home Championship.
The nations first ever friendly was played overseas as they traveled to Scotland, where the Pocoans were beaten 4-1, despite a valiant effort from the players.
The fledgling team's first victory came over Palacios and Rodallega, as the two members of the British Empire played for the first time. QPeMA were able to defeat the islanders 2-0 and the game began the legend Donald Letterman who would go on to score 43 goals in 37 football matches for The Whites.
By the 1930's the Pocoan national team was taking part in the British Rushmore Invitational which saw the empire nations of Queer Poco el Mono Ara, Pays de Horreur, and Palacios and Rodallega participate against England at the end of every season in an knockout competition held in London, with those eliminated in the first round playing off for 3rd place and the winners proceeding to the final.
| # | Year | Champion | Runner Up | Third | Fourth |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1935 | England | Queer Poco el Mono Ara | Palacios and Rodallega | Pays de Horreur |
| 2 | 1936 | England | Queer Poco el Mono Ara | Pays de Horreur | Palacios and Rodallega |
| 3 | 1937 | Queer Poco el Mono Ara | Palacios and Rodallega | England | Pays de Horreur |
| 4 | 1938 | England | Palacios and Rodallega | Queer Poco el Mono Ara | Pays de Horreur |
| 5 | 1939 | England | Queer Poco el Mono Ara | Pays de Horreur | Palacios and Rodallega |
The competition was cancelled following the out break of World War II and football began to dwindle in importance during that time. The final football match played by the Pocoan national side following the end to World War II was a 2-2 draw with Hong Kong in 1947, after this game the national team was put on hiatus for an indetermined number of years.
Despite the presence of a national league, the Pocoan F.A never sought to re-establish a national team to represent themselves at international level. Biding their time until the completely revamped Una Serie de Fútbol.
[edit] 21st Century Return
With the re-branding of the national football league, the QPeMAFA concluded it was time for a return to international football having been absent for over 60 years. Queer Poco el Mono Ara's first* venture into international football was a friendly match against Dancougar under the supervision of interim manager Mick McConaghey. The match ended in a 4 - 1 defeat and McConaghey's tenure as Queer Poco coach lasted no longer than 1 game. Queer Poco el Mono Ara's KPB ranking has since drastically risen over subsequent competitions, moving as high as 47th post World Cup 49 to their present position of 52nd in the World, slipping after the most recent World Cup Qualifiers. Queer Poco el Mono Ara's largest ever victory came over Teletropis - winning 7-1 during WC49 Qualifying. The largest defeat in Queer Poco el Mono Ara's history was the 5-1 thumping at the hands of Somewhereistonia in a pre-World Cup Qualifying friendly prior to WC48. (Since 7-0 against Jeruselem in World Cup 50 qualifying.) At present Ishmael Van Dyke is the country's highest goal scorer - topping the chart with 27 goals in 51 matches.
[edit] The Espinoza Reign
After scouring the world for a successor, the QPMAFA settled on Asdrubal Espinoza who, at the time, was coach of Albrecht Turkish of the CMSC. Asdrubal took over and coached the team in their first international competition, OXEN Cup XI, the results were diabolical and a disappointing 1-0-5 and Queer Poco returned home with only 3 points and a minus 10 goal difference. Espinoza's next job was to lead Queer Poco el Mono Ara in the Baptism of Fire 34 competition. This was marginally better as Queer Poco reached the regional semi-finals of the competition. After the Baptism of Fire tournament, Espinoza took charge of the team in their first attempts to qualify for the World Cup. This attempt was unsuccessful and Queer Poco lost half of their games, prompting many international fans to turn on Espinoza. After the average display during qualifying Espinoza took a break from managing the Queer Poco el Mono Ara national team and returned to club management helping CMSC side El din Marbles stave off relegation. Espinoza returned to the Queer Poco job in time for the team's second outing in the OXEN Cup. He made a number of changes to the sides, but one he didn't make himself was the retirment of former captain Ugo Stowell. At 34, the attacking midfielder decided to hang his international boots up having captained his country on 28 occasions. The changes to the side saw an improved performance on their last outing and the team reached the quarter finals. Espinoza then managed to guide the team to a well deserved 4th place spot in World Cup 48 Qualifying group 6 against some very tough opposition - including the Holy Empire, Sarzonia, Secristan and surprise package Antarctistan. The team managed to win half of their qualifying games, draw two and lose 5 - one loss was the shock defeat to Antarctistan at home. However it was during the second period of qualifying that international striker Frederico went missing in the Dreamed Realm and didn't return to Queer Poco el Mono Ara - seemingly normal, however due to the striker going AWOL he would be dropped from Espinoza's final team which he took to the Cup of Harmony 40. Following The White's elimination from the Cup of Harmony in the second round (despite having taken points in four of the five group games) Espinoza's contract was not renewed much to the disappointment of the fans. However losing the confidence of the players was attributed to Espinoza being allowed to walk despite him guiding the side to 56th in the World.
[edit] The B-Team Boss Miguel da Rossa
Miguel da Rossa, although normally charged with managing the Under 21's team coached the Queer Poco el Mono Ara B-Side at the Nakiti Robotics and Axx Software Opportunity Cup which took place in Queer Poco el Mono Ara whilst Espinoza made his last stand at the Cup of Harmony with the A-Team. Miguel's short tenure in charge was due to a clash in dates with the CoH and the Opportunity Cup and the new bosses take over at the helm. Da Rossa was chosen as interim manager on the basis he had managed to lead the under 21's to the final of the 10th Di Bradini Cup.
[edit] Joe Hamburgstein
Joe Hamburgstein was selected as new coach of Queer Poco el Mono Ara whilst Espinoza was still at the Cup of Harmony. Hamburgstein coached Jeruselem during World Cup 47 and World Cup 48 and his international coaching pedigree spoke for itself. Hamburgstein officially took over after the Opportunity Cup once the full roster of players became available for selection.
Hamburgstein's reign as Queer Poco manager started poorly winning only 1 match in his first 6 in charge, however a surprise win over Kosovoe kick started his tenure. During a topsy turvy World Cup 49 qualifying campaign he took charge as The White's took several big name scalps including Daehanjeiguk, Silexhera and Kosovoe plus a 3-3 draw with Somewhereistonia who in their previous meeting had beaten The Whtes 5-1. However during the campaign poor performances against Wajirka, Teletropis and Arkinesia halted the teams progress and Queer Poco el Mono Ara came third in the qualifying group missing out on qualifying by 5 points.
The major highlight of the campaign was QPeMA's 7-1 demolition of Teletropis in front of the home fans with top scorer Ishmael Van Dyke bagging his first international hat trick.
Following on from the misfortune of missing out on the World Cup, Hamburgstein took an unchanged side to Rushmore neighbour Pasarga for the Cup of Harmony 41. After the group draw everyone in the party and the fans and pundits a like were pleased with The Whites group, including four teams ranked below them. The Whites started off well, putting Eastfield Lodge away 4-0 but then went on to suffer their worst run of performances since their maiden international competition and suffered a string of 4 straight defeats and crashed out of the CoH bottom of the group.
After the CoH, Queer Poco el Mono Ara were lucky enough to host the second edition of the Copa Rushmori. Copa Rushmori II would offer Hamburgstein an opportunity to redeem himself following the shambolic performance. The team failed to qualify for the second round, winning 2 and losing 2 games and finishing third in the group behind Imgoona and Sargossa. The team's average performance was deemed ok and Hamburgstein would remain in charge for The White's qualifying campaign for the 50th World Cup.
World Cup 50 qualifying marked QPeMA's 4th attempt to reach a World Cup finals competition. The side finished 4th in qualifying behind Sorthern Northland, Jeruselem and Jasiyun, taking suspiciously heavy defeats against Jeruselem (home of team coach Joe Hamburgstein).
The team bounced back better than expected, reaching the quarter finals of the subsequent Cup of Harmony. After opening the competition with three straight victories, The Whites found themselves at the top of group C, but losses to Valladares and Pasarga saw the team slip to third in the group. This however didn't dent Hamburgstein's men who went on to defeat Eastfield Lodge 1-0 in the first knock-out round and followed this up with a sound 5-1 win over Andrewboy. QPeMA's progression was however halted at the quarter-final stage with a 1-0 defeat to Uiri.
[edit] Reaching the World Cup
In Hamburgstein's third attempt to guide The Whites to the World Cup, the man from Jeruselem was successful. The Whites were seeded third in their group, including Jeru FC and Newmanistan. The qualifying campaign was successful as the Whites went 16 games without defeat, finally losing a competitive game on matchday 17 to Newmanistan. This defeat would prove to be Hamburgstein's sides only during qualifying.
The Whites won their first ever World Cup match 2-1 against The Weegies and followed this up with a surprise 0-0 draw with the 15th ranked Akbarabad. Needing only a point against Septentrionia the team failed and lost 2-1, seeing their World Cup dream end with a record of 1-1-1.
[edit] Facts and Trivia
[edit] Stadium
The national stadium is the largest in the entire country holding a maximum capacity of 62,000 fans, 4,000 more than Real Minanda's Una Serie de Fútbol stadium, El Estadio de la Esperanza which holds 58,000. The North stand of the national stadium is named after his Royal Highness Prince Hafez Bakhiri and is know as the Prince Hafez stand, whilst the South stand is named after the inspirational Donald Letterman, Queer Poco el Mono Ara's first ever international hat trick scorer - who achieved the feat against Canada during the Commonwealth Cup of 1936. The upper East stand houses away fans, with a capacity of 7,000 - traveling fans are always welcome in Queer Poco el Mono Ara.
[edit] Captains
| Player | # Games Captained |
| Ugo Stowell | 28 |
| Tomasz Poborsky | 88 |
| Ishmael Van Dyke | 4 |
The captain of the national team is selected by the first team coach and should be someone who inspires on the field, is a natural leader and capable of rallying those around him when times are tough. Ugo Stowell was Queer Poco's inaugural captain - selected by Mick McConaghey, his captaincy lasted beyond The White's first ever game to the Baptism of Fire 34 competition and throughout qualifying for the 47th World Cup. After Stowell's retirement, coach Asdrubal Espinoza gave the captain's arm band to first team centerback and Royal Khaldoon captain - Tomasz Poborsky - Poborsky captained the team through three consecutive World Cup Qualifying campaigns, beginning at World Cup 48. Ishmael Van Dyke briefly wore the captain's arm band following an injury to Poborsky during qualifying for World Cup 51. Poborsky wore the arm band during the 51st World Cup and would stand down at the end of the competition.
[edit] QPeMA Top Scorers
Due to the relatively new status of Queer Poco el Mono Ara as an international football team, the top scorers list only takes into account those players who have scored 5 or more goals.
| # | Name | Position | Goals | Caps | Goals per game |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ishmael Van Dyke | Striker | 27 | 51 | 0.52 |
| 2 | Frederico | Striker | 17 | 41 | 0.41 |
| 3 | Frank Le Tissier | Midfield | 9 | 42 | 0.21 |
| 4 | Dean Bowyer | Midfield | 8 | 25 | 0.32 |
| 5 | Phillipe Deschamps | Striker | 7 | 20 | 0.35 |
| 6 | Alberto Xisco | Striker | 6 | 13 | 0.46 |
| 7 | Ugo Stowell | Midfield | 5 | 28 | 0.17 |
[edit] QPeMA managers
| Manager | Term | Played | Won | Drawn | Lost | Goals for | Goals against | Win percentage |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mick McConaghey
| 1st Friendly | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 0 |
 Asdrubal Espinoza
| OXEN Cup XI to Cup of Harmony 40 | 63 | 24 | 12 | 27 | 104 | 107 | 38 |
| Joe Hamburgstein
| Copa Rushmori I to Present | 81 | 42 | 15 | 24 | 174 | 127 | 51 |
[edit] Kits
Queer Poco el Mono Ara's home shirt, away shirt and alternative shirt. All kits were developed by Somewhereistonian company X-Spordiga, who have been the official manufacturer of of Queer Poco el Mono Ara's national team strip since their first international tournament.
[edit] Notable Players
Those who have made a a large contribution to the international team, through outstanding play, unfaultering leadership and dedication to QPeMA will find themselves mentioned among these noble few. During qualifying for World Cup 51 it was decided one player would be added for every World Cup qualifying campaign participated in by the team (but not neccessarily for their performances during that campaign).
01. Petr Ollic QPeMA's #1 from World Cup 47 - World Cup 50
02. Tomasz Poborsky Long standing captain World Cup 48 to Present
03. Karim Zaki Long serving defender, debuted in World Cup 47
04. Tamir el Zahar First choice right back form World Cup 47 - World Cup 50
05. Ishmael Van Dyke QPeMA's leading goal scorer since World Cup 47
06. Enrico Dosenna First team striker since World Cup 49 - reached World Cup 51
[edit] QPeMA Under 21's
The Pocoan Under 21 national side made their first competitive appearance at the 10th Di Bradini under 21's World Cup. Despite being unseeded Miquel da Rossa's young men made it all the way to final where they were beaten by Candelaria and Marquez 1-0. The team were present in a tough group, including 2 top 10 seeds - Kura-Pelland (2) and Daehanjeiguk (6). The team began the competition with a 1-1 draw with Albundania and went on to finish top of their group, winning three games and drawing three. The side went on to face Bears Armed in the second round and gained a 3-1 victory over the bears. The Little Whites would continue on their run of form and reach the final, only to be defeated 1-0 by fellow Rushmoris Candelaria and Marquez.
The Little Whites didn't appear at Di Bradini Cup 11, but did return for the 12th, where despite reaching the final in their previous tango with the competition they were unranked once again. The team were placed in a tough group, including Sarzonia and Starblaydia, butwould go on to win their group once again, winning 3 games and drawing two. The team were once again folied by Rushmori opponents as Somewhereistonia eliminated the Little Whites 2-1 in the second round.
[edit] U21 Coaches
| Manager | Term | Played | Won | Drawn | Lost | Goals for | Goals against | Win percentage |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Miguel da Rossa
| 10th Di Bradini Cup - Present | 16 | 9 | 5 | 2 | 26 | 13 | 56 |
[edit] Honours
- Runners Up (1)
- First refers to QPeMA's first steps into the wider scope of the NationStates Universe.
